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Anger Release/Dignity Retrieval Work
Anger is probably the most misunderstood emotion that we as human beings have to contend with. It seems the camps on this volatile emotion are divided thusly: the camp that acts out aggressively when threatened (either verbally or physically) or the camp in which anger is taboo and denied in favor of more socially acceptable forms of expressing displeasure; i.e.,., manipulation or being passive-aggressive. Very few people can actually assert themselves in a healthy manner. So, if you feel angry all the time or feel anger is taboo please read on.
As babies, feelings are our language - they are our immediate experience of the world and we rely on our parents to interpret our feelings correctly and then meet our needs. We come into the world with four feelings imprinted on our DNA. They are: excitement, joy, fear and anger. Excitement is curiosity, joy is about the discovery, fear about feeling threatened by something we can’t manage and anger is an attempt at management.
As adults, we tend to manage our fear with anger. Feelings are for taking an action -we have to do something! For an adult that often means asserting oneself in a confrontation with another person if we feel demeaned, which can be really scary! For a baby fear is expressed by hiding, running or crying and it is expected that mom or dad will come to the rescue with protection and comfort. Too often they do not. As a baby when I have a felt sense of being lonely, I cry out trusting someone will come to comfort me. If they do come, order to my universe is restored and hope regained. If they don’t come I will eventually lose trust and over time anger sets in to cover up fear. During the "terrible twos" individuation sets in in earnest and many parents take those “no’s” personally as opposition and a threat to their authority. This can often be the beginning of parents giving their children the message that feelings are not O.K. and to go into denial of them. Dignity becomes eroded over time when we get "the look" that says be quiet; or don’t upset your mom/dad right now; or I'll give you something to cry about; or what are you looking at? Well, you get the idea. So, this denial of feelings is enough to take your dignity away let alone the horror of physical abuse or incest which can also be present. Children are not objects; they are human beings deserving of respect from day one. Dignity retrieval, is about education on family dynamics; making connections between the past and how it plays into your emotional present; then getting the anger out reclaiming your dignity which is your inherent right to your opinions, needs, no’s and yes's, choices etc. Sometimes, we can’t say a heartfelt “"yes" until we can say a heartfelt “no”. Then real forgiveness can take place. Not forgiveness “lite” which just comes from your head. But rather from your heart.
You can make lasting change. This is short term therapy. In three intensive weeks you can save yourself years of conventional talk therapy.
Finally, a quote from Aristotle on anger:
“To be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way. That is what’s desirable after all isn’t it?”
For further information and application (it is not done on -line for reasons of confidentiality) you may call: (530) 926-0432.
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